Damn Nature, You Scary!
by seregilrocks
Summary: It was after a year of dating that Naruto finally popped the question. "Sasuke" he said with a serious look on his face, "will you please, go camping with me?" NaruSasu, Yaoi. Giftfic for BesosDeMelon.


A/N: Alright...my first actual attempt at a one-shot. Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own Family Guy which is where I got the title for the story

ooooo

It was after a year of dating that Naruto finally popped the question.

"Sasuke" he said with a serious look on his face, "will you please, go camping with me?"

It was all Sasuke could do to not roll his eyes. The idiot had gotten on one knee, on the grass by the parking lot, to ask him to _go camping_.

"Sasuke, you've got to say yes, he's on one knee! How cute!" Kiba sported a wide grin on his face as he said it, one arm draped around his girlfriend Hinata's shoulders.

Ah yes, how could Sasuke have forgotten to include that Naruto had asked him in front of an audience of ALL of his friends?!

"I think it's rather romantic" Ino said with a sigh, putting her hands up to rest under her chin as she smiled. Sasuke's brow furrowed. _This is so fucking embarrassing _he thought angrily. It would be just like his boyfriend to make a show of something like this. _There will be a snowstorm in hell the day that I agree to go._

"I mean, you rarely come to any of the parties or hang outs after school and Naruto set this whole thing up for all of his friends, join us just this once Uchiha." Sasuke stared at the tall glass of Gatorade that was Hyuuga Neji. He would have snapped at him if it weren't for two things: one being if those words weren't coming from a pair of beautiful lips, and two, if he wasn't right. Ever since he and Naruto became an item last year, Sasuke had been aware of how much Naruto did for him. The man put up with his moodiness, his attitude, and all three levels of the Uchiha glare. Although Sasuke had been the one to confess first, Naruto had promised not to reveal their relationship to Sasuke's family yet, understanding that they would not be receptive to the pair. And last but definitely not least, although Naruto hadn't been gay or even bisexual when they first got together, he accepted the new developments with open arms, openly sharing the news of his love with his family and friends. He was simply awe-inspiring to Sasuke, and the dark haired man owed him so much. _But still…that's not enough of a reason to…_

"Please, please go with us Sasuke-kun" Sakura giggled, her pink hair swinging behind her as she laughed. _Haruno Sakura, _Sasuke thought mildly. _She sure has changed. _In their younger days Sakura had been a petite girl with no curves to speak of with a high squeaky voice and a loud red bow in her hair. Now that she had grown, she had filled out considerably and now had pert breast with a thin waist, and curvy hips.

"You know how obnoxious Naruto can be, don't leave me all alone with him!" She griped with a fake frown. She had been the president of Sasuke's fan club from elementary school until the time Sasuke and Naruto had told everyone about their relationship. To the best of Sasuke's knowledge, it was the same amount of time that Naruto had had a huge crush on her.

"I'll go" he said nonchalantly to the group.

"Fuck yeah!" Naruto whooped, putting his arm around Sasuke's shoulder. "This is going to be the Best. Camping Trip. Evahhhh!"

oooooooo

Driving up to the camping grounds on a Friday afternoon, Sasuke took heart in seeing the nice looking office on his left with a river flowing behind it and the huge facility with showers, bathrooms, and an entertainment room to the right, with a swing set for children to play on right outside. He had to admit, this was a better start then he could have hoped for. The fact that there were bathrooms was a good sign; he was worried they'd have to shit behind a tree and wipe with a leaf.

Glancing over he caught Naruto grinning at him. Sasuke gave him an unreadable look, which caused Naruto to smile brightly and press a kiss to his lips, leaning in a bit to deepen it before pulling away. "Thank you for coming with me. I know being in the outdoors isn't your thing but I'm determined to make you love it Teme. Believe it!""

"Hn" Sasuke answered non-committedly.

Expecting to see a row of tents right away, Sasuke perked up as the cars pulled in front of a modest cabin. Everyone from the cars in front got out and started to unload their things. _Kinda small, but hey, at least it's decent_, Sasuke thought as he prepared to unload his and Naruto's stuff.

"Whoa whoa whoa, let's help the others out first. I got a surprise for you" Naruto said as he grabbed Sasuke's wrist. "I got us our own place," this he said in a low voice, tossing a wink over his shoulder as we walked off.

_Maybe this won't be so bad after all_.

Oooooo

"Oh, come on Sasuke. Can you please come help me set up the tent now!?" Naruto yelled from across their small allocated area.

Sasuke refused to budge from the passenger side of the car. Only _after_ helping to move everyone's stuff into their respective cabin did Naruto 'surprise' him. He was right to have worried. Naruto had gotten the equivalent of the nosebleed section seats at a concert for them to place their tent. They were so far into the forest, they had to walk ten minutes down a hill to reach their closest neighbor.

As much as Sasuke wanted to continue sulking on the matter, he did realize that it was getting dark and he had better help the blonde shithead set up their tent before Smokey the Bear appeared to give them a lecture.

"So, explain to me again _why _we are the only one of your friends to be sleeping in a tent?" he said angrily, helping Naruto hammer the last nail in the ground.

"It's to have the experience! Anyone can sleep in a cabin but how many can claim that they were truly out 'roughin' it', eh?" Naruto stood and put his hands on Sasuke's shoulders, kissing a trail up his throat. "Do you trust me?"

Sasuke mumbled something about 'mothers' and 'fuckers'. Naruto chose to ignore it as he followed Sasuke to get their sleeping bags.

Ooooooooooo

"Sasuke-kun, wake up! It's time to go!" a shrill voice called from outside the tent. Sasuke reached over to check his phone. 8:35 on a Saturday morning. What kind of spawn of Satan woke a man up from his slumber at that time on a weekend? Deciding he was too tired to get angry, he huddled deeper into his sleeping bag and closed his eyes.

_Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. _Sasuke remained stock still as he heard Ino, or he assumed it was her judging by the earlier voice, open the tent door. "Sasuke-kuuuun, Sakura and Naruto are outside. We're going on a morning hike! Yaaaaaaaay!"

Sasuke slit one eye open. God was testing him.

Ooooooooooo

If Sasuke hadn't felt like the camping experience was his thing before, now he was sure of it.

First, he had his experience in the tent, which was horrible. The tent was so small that he and Naruto were trapped in the middle of it with no space to move around, although it's not like they could have gotten any 'full body' work-outs anyway, what with the arctic temperature air blowing the wind right out of Sasuke's sail. No matter that Naruto spent a good five minutes spraying bug repellent everywhere, those annoying fuckers still found their way in. Between Naruto's hectic sleeping rolls almost crushing him to death and the sound of mosquitos buzzing around his head, Sasuke honest to god thought he would lose his mind. Somewhere around 3 am he finally snapped, grabbing the repellent and spraying himself from head to toe before capturing Naruto into some awkward wrestling position to stop his movements...until_ finally _falling into a fitful sleep.

Sasuke was so tired when Ino woke him up to get dressed that he couldn't eat anything, and he also realized that he had three giant mosquito bites on his face. To top it off, he belatedly realized as they left the camp site that he had accidentally grabbed Naruto's orange sweats to wear. Orange.

"Jeez Teme why do you worry so much, it'll be fine! Besides, it's just us here, no one here to see you," Naruto added, giving his boyfriend a squeeze.

Wanting to get the stupid hike over with as soon as possible, Sasuke just nodded and followed the bubbly teenagers. Ino and Sakura had clasped arms with the blonde in between them and they were having an animated conversation, about something stupid Sasuke was sure. The topic must have been juicy for the three however because they were so engrossed that none of them noticed when they had left Sasuke ten feet behind them, who at this point was starting to breathe audibly from the sharp incline of the mountain. Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he saw Sakura lean in close to whisper something to Naruto before they both threw their heads back and laughed. He scowled. _At least it can't get worse._

Oooooooooooooooooo

An hour and a half later, as the group made its way back at the tent, Sasuke gave a sigh of relief. _I can't wait to rest. _The relief was cut short however as they were greeted by none other than the entire rest of the group.

"Hey guys!" Lee shouted out, his thick eyebrows raised to a comical degree. "How was the hike?"

The three ahead of Sasuke were flushed but didn't look in too bad of shape as they answered positively about the experience. Sasuke was behind them, face red with three now horrendously huge bites on it from the scratching, still huffing and puffing from the hike back to camp, and looking about ready to faint. He could only muster enough energy to mumble "terrible".

"Oh, come now! This is our ~*~ Springtime of Youth~*~! Passion and vigor are on our side" Lee said encouragingly, wrapping an arm around Sasuke as he stumbled over to the group.

"You look…nice" Neji said with an odd smile. Impossibly, Sasuke's face reddened further.

"Are you talking about the hair that's sticking up or the horrible choice in sweats?" Kiba asked Neji with an incredulous look.

Sasuke shot him a death glare and started to head for his tent, heedless of the teens gabbing away.

"Sasuke! Can you grab our swim trunks and towels to take to the river later?!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke raised a brow as he turned to look in his direction. "And at what time are you planning to go to said river?"

Naruto could only send him an exasperated look. "Umm…now! No time like the present, eh Sasuke?" The buffoon had the audacity to shoot him a smug look. "Now can you please hurry, we're about to walk to the cabin!"

Sasuke looked at him in disbelief. They just went on the hike of doom and instead of stopping to rest he wanted him to walk thirty minutes to his friend's cabin?

"No."

He turned and made purposeful strides toward the tent, ready to launch himself at his sleeping bag, when suddenly Sakura was there, all smiles and sweetness. "No need to handle this all on your own, let me help you!"

Sasuke looked to the Heavens. _Why me?_

_Oooooooooooooooo_

As expected, the trip to the river was a disaster. They had all set their stuff underneath a tree before rushing off to play in the water. Everyone except Sasuke that is. He hurt everywhere, he was hungry, and because he was so white he had to wait thirty minutes for the effects of the sunscreen to kick in so that he wouldn't burn. He watched as Lee threw a karate kick at Kiba who barely managed to duck in time, and at Neji who currently had Naruto in a headlock. _At least I get a good view while I wait_ Sasuke thought with a smirk, leaning against the tree. He looked at the time on his phone. 20 minutes left until he could join the sun worshipers. _Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes…_

"…Naruto! Ohmigod! Don't haha!" Sasuke's closed eyes twitched as he tuned in to the voice. "Come on stop messing around you brute!"

He opened his eyes slowly, taking in the scene before him. Naruto was standing in the water, playfully splashing at Sakura who apparently didn't want to get wet. Before he could take in any more of his surroundings, a sandwich was suddenly thrust under his nose.

"Hungry?" Ino said with a smile, pointing to the food that was spread around them.

Sasuke raised a brow at her, but took the sandwich gratefully and started to eat. "When did you guys go get food?"

"Oh, about half an hour ago. We'd been here for a while and everyone started to get hungry. Eat up Sasuke-kun!" she yelled before racing towards the river.

_Half an hour…? _Sasuke looked at the time. He had been asleep for four hours. Four hours.

He was torn.

While he felt well rested and was glad for it, he found it unacceptable that no one had deigned to come wake him up. Glaring at Naruto flirtatiously splashing the girls, he decided the best thing to do now was to finish his food and join them, or at least that was his plan until Kiba spoke up.

"I'm beat. Let's head back to the cabin and set up for tonight!" he yelled, making everyone rush out of the water. Sasuke didn't say anything as he watched everyone head over, making comments of how refreshing the water was and how nice it was to spend the day with one another. The only thing was, while everyone else was off together having fun in the sun, he had been left alone in the shade.

Sasuke could only chew his sandwich and try to hide his hurt.

Oooooooo

Sasuke was outside of the cabin, trying to light the campfire. He tried it this way and that. Rearranged the pieces of wood to see if the fire would start, but it refused.

"Fuck" he muttered to himself.

He had sent himself out to start the campfire to get away from everyone. Immediately after the river, they all went to Kiba's cabin for an early dinner. Sasuke stayed silent throughout the preparation and eating of the meal, glad that at any moment he and Naruto could return to the tent where they could rest and he could forget about this day. Unfortunately, Naruto had other plans. "Let's bring out the boooze!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

Within minutes, someone had pulled out the beer cans and various bottles of alcohol. Although Sasuke wasn't a big drinker, he was feeling low, so found himself joining in. Once the alcohol reached his bloodstream, he found himself actually relaxing and almost enjoying himself; Naruto and Lee were arm wrestling laying on their bellies on the floor, the girls and Neji had blasted some pop music and were having a dance off, and most surprisingly Sasuke and Kiba found common ground taking shots from a bottle of tequila.

After a few hours and many shots later everyone was pumped up and rowdy, all except Sasuke, who sat in the corner watching Sakura give a demonstration of pole dancing using Naruto as the pole. Within seconds of this display happening, the few hours of mild contentment he had disappeared from memory. It was hard not to see how well they danced together, with Naruto slowly stripping off his shirt teasing his audience with a peek at his hard abs until he finally threw it to the side to give them a full view as Sakura went in front of him to grind her hips into his. Sasuke noted how everyone was cheering them on, and couldn't help but feel jealousy and hurt course through him.

"I… uh…" Kiba said clearing his throat, walking over to him. "I think everyone wants to make smore's outside later if you want some. I was just about to head out there to light the fire..."

"No. I'll do it," Sasuke said, beating a hasty retreat. He had had enough.

ooooooo

"Teme, what are you doing?" Naruto said coming over to investigate, a few minutes after his boyfriend left.

"Glad you finally noticed I was missing dobe, I would have thought you were too focused on Sakura's ass to do so" Sasuke said, not looking up from what he was doing.

"C'mon, don't be like that…" Naruto began, running a hand through his blonde hair. He cut himself off however, when he noticed what Sasuke was trying to do.

"Here, let me help you." Naruto grabbed the axe and quickly began cutting a few pieces of wood into splinters, to better start the fire. Prepping his base and then making his tee-pee before adding the splinters and paper, Naruto dipped into a squat and lit a match, put the match to the paper, and 'Voila!'. Naruto beamed once he saw the fire pick up quite nicely.

"You see!? _That's_ how you do it!" He stopped short as he turned to face the raven. His pale face was stoic and his obsidian eyes were blank as he stood up and looked at Naruto.

"I see" he said in a monotone, before turning on his heel and walking away.

"Sasuke? Sasuke!?" Naruto yelled out, trying to stop him. Sasuke only walked faster.

Oooooooooooo

Alas, that is how Sasuke ended up sitting on a hollow log, in the middle of nowhere, moping.

An hour had already passed since he left the cabin, and although he knew he should probably find Naruto, or at least call him back to let him know he was okay, he didn't want to. He wanted to mope a little longer.

Unfortunately for him, his moment of melancholy was broken when he heard a muffled curse and saw a flashlight shine right into his eyes.

"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice called out to him. Realizing the jig was up, he grunted his assent.

"Sasuke!" relief flooded the blue eyes as he rushed over to embrace the other man. Sasuke would have been pleased were he not feeling so shitty. "I was so worried about you! Why did you just leave like that?"

Sasuke stared off to the side. "I just…I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand being left out."

Naruto gaped. "You mean when Sakura and I were dancing?! Sasuke I'm sorry if you felt left out I just figured you wouldn't want to dance with a girl and…"

Sasuke cut him off. "No dobe. I mean this whole trip. I'm not rugged, or outdoorsy, or any of that hippy dippy shit. I came on this trip for you, because I know how much it means for me to do these group outings with you and your friends…but I'm just not cut out for this. This whole trip I've struggled just to keep up with you energetic bubbleheads, and yet you never once stopped to ask me how I was feeling." Naruto's face softened in shame as he looked away. "But mainly, I'm upset because… I just…I just feel inadequate. You put up with my personality _and_ my crazy ass conservative family, and all of this as 'just a friend' because you want to allow me to be able to come out when I'm ready. You have sacrificed so much to be with me Naruto; the least I can do is spend a weekend out in the wilderness with you and _pretend_ to enjoy myself, yet I can't even seem to do that. I don't feel like I measure up" he continued.

Sasuke blinked in surprise as Naruto grabbed his chin to look him in the eyes. "I've been thinking…"

Sasuke snorted. "Don't hurt yourself."

"I shouldn't have brought you here. You're an insensitive, ice-prince, city dwelling bastard… and I'm okay with that." Naruto smirked as Sasuke raised a brow. "I want to do something fun with you, something we can enjoy together. I promise when we get back I will plan the most epic date Sasuke, just the two of us. Do you forgive me?"

Sasuke stared into his puppy dog eyes and sighed heavily, before his mouth crept into a grin. "Of course I do." He pressed forward so their lips were almost touching. "But since we're on the topic of promises, if I remember correctly, I believe you mentioned something about being out here as 'an experience' and that we'd be 'roughin it'?"

Sasuke watched as Naruto's face took on one of challenge and leaned into him for a kiss. "I believe I did."

Sasuke braced himself for rough treatment, but was shocked when he felt Naruto's tongue lick playfully at his lips. Sasuke tried to coax his lover's tongue into his mouth, but Naruto just continued to tease and nip playfully. Sasuke let out a low growl as he pounced on the blonde, knocking him to the forest floor.

Cradling himself in Naruto's lap, Sasuke claimed Naruto's mouth roughly, his tongue seeking entrance. Naruto caught on to Sasuke's fervor, roughly scratching his back and pulling him closer.

"You like that Teme?" Naruto whispered as he pulled back slightly, licking his lips. Sasuke moaned as Naruto ground up against him, their clothed erections rubbing against one another. Naruto moved his hands under Sasuke's shirt, rubbing the nipples lightly before giving them a hard pinch and a flick, causing Sasuke to bite the area of Naruto's neck he was licking.

It was Naruto's turn to growl as he pulled back and ground harder up against the dark haired man, enjoying the way the man's head went back in ecstasy with each thrust. "You want it rough baby, I'll give it you rough. Turn around."

Sasuke did as he was told, turning on his knees to grasp the log with both hands, letting a moan escape him as Naruto started massaging the globes of his ass. He hissed as Naruto yanked his pants down, exposing him to the cool night air.

"You know, for all that worrying you made me do earlier…" Naruto whispered into Sasuke's ear, feeling the man shudder.

"Fuck Naruto" Sasuke whispered. The blonde pulled back slightly, coating his fingers thoroughly with saliva before moving his lips back to Sasuke's ear, roughly shoving two fingers into Sasuke's tight entrance.

"I feel like I need to be extra rough. Maybe fuck you so hard that this log breaks." Sasuke moaned, loving Naruto's naughty words and even naughtier fingers stretching him. "Then, when I have you with both your hands and knees on the ground, I'll suck and lick that tight entrance until you start begging for me to take you." Sasuke whimpered, anticipating.

"SASUUKKEEEEEE!" A male voice called out. It sounded suspiciously like Lee.

"NARUTOOOOO! WHERE ARE YOU?" A female voice called out. Sasuke groaned as he stood on his knees, turning to look in the direction of the voices. Judging by the distance of the lights, they were pretty far away still, there's no way those drunken nitwits could find them in the dark, then again Kiba had an insane talent for finding people, they won't get caught, maybe…

Fuck it.

"Naruto. In me. Now." Sasuke could feel Naruto smile into his hair as he entered him in one swift thrust, pressing his back to his chest. Sasuke moaned loudly at the entry, and at the feel of Naruto's long, languorous thrusts, causing Naruto to put a hand over his mouth.

"Shh baby, we don't want anyone to find us, do we?" Naruto smirked as he pushed Sasuke forward roughly, slamming into him hard and fast, grazing over the man's prostate, turning his grunts into long moans of pleasure. Sasuke tried to bite his hand to keep quiet, sensing the lights approaching, but the thrill of potentially getting caught only heightened his desire.

Impossibly, Naruto picked up his pace, placing a hand over Sasuke's mouth again. They were close, which was a good thing since someone with a flashlight was coming their way.

Sasuke's head rolled back as Naruto continued to ride him. He was so close to coming he could taste it. Without warning, one of the nearby lights flashed in their direction, and Sasuke lost it, leaning his bent head onto his arms and coming all over the log. A few seconds later, Naruto let out a low groan and followed suit.

The two lovers waited with baited breath, expecting to hear sounds of disgust or surprise or shock (or encouragement at their avidly embracing youth if it was Lee). To their surprise, the owner of the light made a sharp left and continued on their search. Apparently they hadn't seen the couple.

Both men collapsed on the forest floor, breaking out into a fit of laughter.

Naruto pulled Sasuke so that his head rested just under his chin, with both men watching the stars. "You know Teme, camping with you is starting to turn kinda fun. You sure you don't wanna try it again?"

Sasuke merely rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to his collarbone. "Idiot."


End file.
